she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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