You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
