Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
