i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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