it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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