Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
