"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
