Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
