just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
