I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
