so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
