Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
