i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
