If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How does one acquire holy water?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
