i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize