How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
