Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
