I wanna bring you to show and tell
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
