We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
