I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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