she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
