gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I CAN MOONWALK!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
