Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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