Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
