you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
