A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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