eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize