Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
