all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
