Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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