She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
