As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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