they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
