I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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