i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize