Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
