dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
