I accidentally burped into my bong.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
