I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
