I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
nut hugger
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
