return my video game
This is not my ceiling
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
