So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
God, I missed his penis.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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