fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
