I don't think brook has ever known best
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
