I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
