Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
