Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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