Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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