if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize