Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
