Are we in a gay sports bar?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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