He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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