my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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