The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
