hell yes lets make some ravioli
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
