I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
