whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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