Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
