on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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