i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
